When Courage and Fear Collide.

Three months ago I felt the invitation of the Lord to step out in faith and into the unknown, leaving behind my comfortable job, safety and familiarity for whatever the Lord had planned. I was nervous, yet excited. I didn’t have the full picture, but knew that at least part of what I was to do was invest in the creativity I had allowed to lie dormant for many years. I didn’t know what stepping out would look like, but I trusted the Lord would lead the way.

If I can be honest here, these past few months have challenged me in ways I never saw coming. They have brought to the surface uncomfortable beliefs, insecurities, and an overwhelming amount of doubt. A doubt which has kept me paralysed.

When the Lord called me into this season, I sensed that He was inviting me to “step out on the waters” and walk by faith—just as he invited Peter to do in Matthew 14:

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” 28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.

We refer to this moment in history a lot when we talk about stepping out in faith. Many have responded to the invitation from Jesus to metaphorically step out of the boat (symbolising our place of comfort, familiarity and safety) and into the miraculous (where natural ability ends and the supernatural begins). It is part of the journey of following Christ. At various times, the Lord will invite us to trust Him — and often, that trust will defy all sense. In this instance, Peter responded to Jesus’ invitation with faith, and literally walked on water. I don’t know anyone who has walked on water since… that is a supernatural miracle! But to end the passage here would be to ignore what many who have stepped out in faith have also experienced —

30 …when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.”

How many of us step out in faith and take a few successful steps, only to then, like Peter, find ourselves getting distracted by our reality? Peter’s reality was that he was attempting to do something divinely possible yet humanly impossible, in the midst of a raging storm. If you’ve ever been in a boat while a storm hits, you’ll know that strong winds cause wild and intense waves. Not exactly the type of environment I would want walking on water for the first time. But Jesus knew.

The truth is, God doesn’t promise an easy ride when we step out in faith. He could have calmed the storm before he invited Peter to walk on the waves—making the step of faith a little less intimidating. But that wasn’t the reality for Peter, and it usually isn’t for us either. Sometimes we are invited to step out amidst what appears to be a raging storm—where natural reality and fears surround us. And when our environment and circumstances are screaming at us to get back in the boat, stepping out in faith requires us to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus.

It didn’t take long after stepping out in faith for me to realise I, too, was starting to sink — just as Peter had. I didn’t even notice it happening at first; it was subtle. As my circumstances started soliciting more questions than answers, I began to feel unsteady. Fixing my eyes on everything around me that didn’t make sense, my feet began to slip beneath the water. I became filled with fear. Whenever I read this account in Matthew 14, I can’t help but picture what I imagine Peter’s face looked like in that moment — eyes wide with terror, thoughts and memories flashing through his mind faster than he could comprehend, as he cried out to his Lord for help.

If you’ve ever allowed fear to overcome you, you’ll know this feeling. In moments of uncertainty and doubt, we often reach for the familiarity and safety we just left behind. My excitement in stepping into something new quickly wore off as soon as the things I had placed my trust in — finances, stability, predictability, control, clarity — began slipping away beneath my feet.

But Jesus redeems every story and every moment.

31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Even when we take our eyes off Him, He is gracious to lift us up once again.

It turns out that stepping out of the boat and walking on the water require two different levels of faith. To continue doing what God has called us to do demands a fixation on Jesus so firm that even the raging waves around us cannot deter us from stepping forward.

This moment in Peter’s life he may have seen as a failure, but as I’ve been learning, what matters most is not that we momentarily take our eyes off Jesus — we’re human; it’s all part of the journey — but that we don’t lose hope, we get up, and we go again. Because He is trustworthy. And if He has called us, He is able to provide for all our needs and direct us along the way.

Because Peter didn’t give up, he discovered that failure can become the soil where faith grows deeper, and that Jesus’ hand is always stronger than our sinking. And I’m learning the same.

And so—we go again!

FBC x